I've launched Chickens, Have You?

You might be wondering about this title.

I would warn you it is exactly as it sounds.

My Father grew up in small towns and Farms thru out Saskatchewan and Southern Alberta. He picked up a few tricks along the way. Much to my Mother's dismay he wasn't shy about teaching us boys a thing or two. Passing time living on a farm takes creativity and ingenuity. You can only build so many hay forts and make so many mud pies that you then begin to think there must be something more.

My Father taught us to launch chickens.

Let me just preface the story a little. My mother loved our Farm in Aldergrove. After moving from a farm house in Alberta, on several sections of land, to a condo in Whiterock(Vancouver). I am sure we were driving my Mother to distraction. My father had the opportunity to rent a house on Ten acres of land in the then quite town of Aldergrove. My mother cried when she saw the house for the first time. It was not for relief of getting out of the city, but that is another story I will tell you some other time. So here we were again on a property Mom could plant and grow and raise some animals. She loved her chickens. It was our job to feed and collect eggs. To a eight year old they were simply another chore in the way of the fun stuff. So when presented the opportunity to launch a chicken we "Jumped" on the chance.

Launching is an Art. Catching the chicken is simply put, chaos. For a flightless bird they are surprisingly quick and agile. But when you are finally graced with the opportunity to lay you hands on one, that is when the fun begins. They may be quick, but they are not very smart. Take the chickens head and tuck it under it's wing. Gentle stoke the bird until in is lulled into a false sense of security. Meanwhile, in preparation to all of this, you have set up the launching apparatus. A see saw of epic proportions. A good long plank balanced over a good size object that a ten, eight,and six year old could muster. Your little brother is precariously balance on the shoulders of you older brother. He is vibrating in anticipation for the moment. You gently place the chicken on the lower side of the see saw. Your little bother leaps before anyone has a chance to say go. That chicken is then launched into oblivion only to awake twenty feet in the air. This bird may be flightless, but today it has been launched into space. They flutter to the ground unharmed physically, but the shell shock leaves an unforeseen side effect.

"I just can't seem to figure out why those chickens aren't laying eggs" Mom would say at the dinner table. Well lets just say that revelation on the matter was soon forth coming.

It was a beautiful summer day and we we engrossed in the joy and bliss of being hidden on the other side of the Barn. Some how we believe that the barn was some secret barrier that drowned out sight and sound. We were anxiously engaged in our new favorite pass time oblivious to our surroundings. Let me just say the sight of Mom coming around the barn dressed in overalls, large rubber boots and carrying a large garden tool, screaming, and never looking angrier. Well, it is a sight that drives the loyalty out of any child. It literally took us seconds to reply "Dad told us we could". I think she was waiting for him on the door step that night when he got home from work. I don't remember him getting in trouble, but I do know, that was the last day we ever launched a chicken. Life is good.